You might have already been in the act but don’t really know the word for it. The meaning of the English word ‘cushioning’ is to soften up the effects of a blow. And in dating cushioning refers to the act of having a half romantic relationship other than the main relationship so if and when the main relationship doesn’t work you have another person to fall back on. Both men and women are equally guilty of it, more like keeping a rebound ready.
Maybe now that you think of it you may have done it subconsciously or have been doing it. Despite being in a relationship with one person you let other people think you like them romantically. It is like having backups as we are too scared of getting our hearts broken. This is often because we are in doubt of ourselves or in our partners perhaps in our fate. People are constantly thinking of what if and hardly believe that a relationship is for keeps. What if they change, what if they fall out of love, what if things don’t work out etc.
We mostly look at other people as potential future partners and to keep things safe a little flirting works out fine. You know you have option two, and when things start to wobble in the main relationship you deal with it with the knowledge of having a backup, even if you are committed to your current partner.
Maybe you are someone at the receiving end and felt distant from your partner. It is kind of like an emotional cheating. You saw a certain friend getting too close in their life which left you feeling uncomfortable. We take it cool as part of modern dating as no one wants to look jealous. But slowly the distance grows.
It already means the death of your existing relationship.
When you are preparing for a future, you are bound to get what you prepare for. So if you prepare for a breakup you have got yourself a breakup. You are subconsciously creating cushions around you texting and chatting with potential romantic partners which eventually leads to loss of value of your main relationship.
And as you go on committing to your cushions your partner will eventually realize it. They will doubt your loyalty towards them when you are busy chatting and cushioning at certain hours or with a certain person. Or maybe you are someone who found your partner involving in such activities. Most often post a fight.
It can ruin your chances at finding love.
When your subconscious knows that there are options the commitment to your partner is already scarred. You are not giving yourself a fair chance to find love and love to find you. This is not how you are giving your all to a relationship.
Love deserves complete surrender and a half-hearted attempt will only mean failures.
There are even friends who are in the act of this but friendship isn’t as exclusive as relationship and so most of the time do less damage. Our vulnerability causes cushioning. Having a broken heart though only prepares you for a better life.
