How To Deal With A Controlling Partner?

Set boundaries and consequences

Once you have made them aware of their behaviour and where the behaviour stems from and most importantly what it does to you, tell them that there will be certain non-negotiable points within the relationship. For example, they cannot stop you from going out with your friends, they cannot ask you to wear or not wear what they deem fit or unfit, they cannot tell you how to do your job better. 

Along with boundaries, one also need to set up consequences. Controlling partners are also often not aware when they get controlling. It must be a process by which they have survived for the longest period of their lives. So that’s their natural way of being. Hence you will have to put a stop and tell them that the moment they cross the non-negotiable points, they will be met with such and such consequences. 

Pay more attention to oneself and become independent

No matter how symbiotic a relationship is or how codependent one partner could be on the other, the centre of your happiness and being should be inside you and not outside of you. Therefore try to be as less dependent on your controlling partner as possible.

The less you are dependent on them, the less they will be able to ask favours from you, demand out of you and make you do things that you don’t want to do. Be absolutely aware of your free will and that you can exercise it at any moment you want. There is no obligation to follow, although the illusion of it might be created by your partner because many times in the past you have followed them. But that pattern can stop the moment you become aware of your free will. 

Finally, if nothing works out, turn the tables

Sometimes, nothing seems to work out with controlling partners. One should not lose the cool but try to give them a taste of their medicine. 

Find out your own calm ways by which you can exert your control over them. Use orders, demands, and favours. Find out things they don’t like and subtly express it to them that you’d want that thing done. Wait for their reaction. If they snap, then (again without losing your calm) remind them of their behaviour.

These simple tips would come handy when one has to deal with a controlling partner. 

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